I apologize if my last post sounded dismal...it was not my intention. There has been a lot going on, but I really am a positive and hopeful person for the most part. Perhaps it is because I spent a good deal of my early life being sad, or that I am old enough to know that God is with us in each circumstance, but I don't worry nearly as much as I used to. In fact, many times I catch myself thinking, "I really should be worried about this, but I am not." That is a miracle.
I re-watched the series Lark Rise to Candleford on Amazon before Lent started and I remember at one point Laura said "I love my life." And so do I. Really, truly. There is no other life I want than the one I inhabit with these folks I live with and the friends we have made along the way.
We got word this morning that we have been assigned a social worker for foster care adoption. Someone said to me, "But why are you all doing that? When are you going to have a life?" I was taken aback by the wording because I DO have a life, a great life. It is not the life that everyone would choose, but it is the life that we feel called to. We don't know all of the particulars and how it will all work out, but we know that God does. And as my dear sweet friend Lynda reminded me recently, this is God's world. And God's world is good.
I love that I am able to teach Jessie at home. Math lessons with gnomes and castles? It is too much fun. I love our home, our animals, being able to be present for needs that arise, and learning to know when I need a break from it all. I love our little neighborhood and our home-school co-op community. I love the friends I have made here and watching Sam grow into an amazing young man who loves people and animals and can do crazy hard math problems. I love being available for weekly update calls from Gabriel who is becoming so adult and owning his life in amazing ways.
I love getting to know my husband in new ways and being amazed at the person that he is.
I love teaching myself to do new things like sew, bake, take care of animals, garden, and work with power tools.
I love our hodge-podge little parish and our priest.
I love my life.
O Lord, how lovely it is to be Thy guest. Breeze full of scents; mountains reaching to the skies; waters like boundless mirrors, reflecting the sun's golden rays and the scudding clouds. All nature murmurs mysteriously, breathing the depth of tenderness. Birds and beasts of the forest bear the imprint of Thy love. Blessed art thou, mother earth, in thy fleeting loveliness, which wakens our yearning for happiness that will last for ever, in the land where, amid beauty that grows not old, the cry rings out: Alleluia!